Posted by Eddie Sylvano on November 16, 2002, at 1:59:58
In reply to I hate my oldself and my former Doctors, posted by wharfrat on November 12, 2002, at 12:24:29
>I think they hate me. I'm feeling so good but feeling so bad about the way I was and the way my kids are obviously scarred by my past. Can anyone relate?
---------------That sounds exactly like my dad's story. He had pretty bad rage and panic disorder when my brothers and I were growing up. Would just suddenly freak out and lose control. I grew to try avoiding him at all costs. I'd say I feared him more than I hated him. When someone acts like that around you, you don't feel loved. By the time I left the house at 19, he was almost like a stranger to me. Several years later, he was finally put on several medications, which really changed him. It took quite a while to accept the idea, but I've gotten used to it. He apologized one night for all the abuse, which meant a lot. He's a pretty smart guy, and I could see that he'd really been suffering about it. We're still not chums, but I definately spend more time with him now, and I feel like we finally have a relationship of some kind, which will continue to grow. If he hadn't gone on meds and changed things, I'd probably never (or rarely) see him. But anyway, I think that sons/daughters always want to love their parents, and given even minor encouragement, they will.
poster:Eddie Sylvano
thread:32132
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021106/msgs/32360.html