Posted by Ted on September 3, 2002, at 17:38:07
In reply to Re: and the $600 question... Ted..., posted by ~~tabitha~~ on September 3, 2002, at 6:22:11
Hi Tabby,
First, I want to say that we are conversing on this venue not because we are "normal", but because we have social and/or psychological problems at some level, so anything said does not necessarily represent mainstream belief.
That said....
> But I still don't know, what *does* make men fall in love?
> Your thoughts?
At first thought, my answer would be, "Hell, I don't know."
After some thought, though, I would add the following:
1. It certainly isn't the sex, not that it's not wanted or anything. :-)
2. For me, I think it is having someone who is truly interested in *me*, in my interests, in making me happy, etc. Someone who selflessly gives herself and her attention to me. Someone who makes me comfortable to share my innermost thoughts, feelings, secrets, and fantasies without fear of rejection. Sex is secondary. It ties the bond. Friends first, lovers second, sexual partners third.
All men are different. I know some who would never admit they were ever "in love". For them, "love" is having a steady sex partner, period.
The vulnerabilities I listed are exactly why we feel such emotional pain following a breakup with someone whom we really, truly love, and why it is so terribly difficult to recover and do it all over again with someone new. Gabby is a perfect example. I am too -- it's been 17 years and I still feel the pain. I don't know what makes the pain go away. My wife knows of my loss but she doesn't understand it because she has never felt it.
How's that? Did I pass the test? How do I collect my $600?
Ted
poster:Ted
thread:29660
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020829/msgs/29816.html