Posted by jay on August 5, 2002, at 23:09:51
Hmmm..me is a vewwwy bad boy..;-) Tonight, I planned on starting a nice exercise routine, all hyped up for it. Then a few hours ago...just feeling *very* low...ack.Well...here is what I *did* do. I made a big batch of pina colodas, beforehand had a nice corned beef on rye bread sandwich, and gulped back a few *extra* lorazepams...enough more than usual to give me a 'buzz'. I put on my 'Enigma' cd...turned down the lights. SO WHAT if I need chemicals to help me...really..so what...it sure as hell beats being 6 feet under...indeed. Many people drink everyday...and as long as in a bit of moderation..so what!
As I sit here typing this letter...the music is flowing through my mind like a scene underneath the Northern Lights. 'The Return to Innocence' is playing right now...man does that bring me back to "myself".
Nine or so years ago...I had it 'all'..well..most of what many could want in life. A satisfying very, very well paying job, helping people...I had got myself into such good shape physically. Then, about 7 years ago..I lost it all..job..physical fitness..mental fitness..loss of finances...I was IN THE HOLE..and it kept getting deeper, for years, non-stop.
Now, in the summer of 2002, my very, very *beautiful* great Uncle Vernie passed away on Friday. He has left me an absolutely incredible amount of money in his will...and I will be well off for some time to be. Yes, because of him...that major strain in my life has been lifted. Now, not only am I a bit richer in the bank, but most importantly, I am so rich in my heart for him doing that for me.
Tomorrow is his funeral, and yes, I have volunteered to say his Eulogy. I *had* to...ohh did I ever HAVE to...yes.
Here is the poem I will read..it is a Buddhist poem:
Promise me,
promise me this day
while the sun is just overhead
even as the pain is in your heart
remember, love knows no enemiesjust your kindness, your love
invincible, limitless
and one day when you have to face this pain
your courage intact
your eyes kind
out of your smile
will bloom a flower
and those who love you
will behold you
across 10,000 worlds of birth and dyingand when we are alone
we will go on, head bent
but knowing the immortality of love
and on the long, rough road
both sun and moon will shine
forever, lighting our wayNice...yes? :-) I hope you like..please feel free to copy and pass on.
OK..next week we will worry about weight...not today, though. Cheers to you...and to hope...for hope is *eternal*...don't let anyone ever tell you different.
Jay :-)
poster:jay
thread:28159
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020804/msgs/28159.html