Posted by Penny on March 28, 2002, at 12:45:22
In reply to Re: I'm falling apart...................... » Penny, posted by Dinah on March 28, 2002, at 0:20:59
Thank you, Dinah.
I'm at work, hangin' in. I'm certainly no worse off than in the past. If anything, I think the thyroid augmentation is helping my energy level.
My pdoc called me about 10 minutes after I paged him last night. He's still holding out some hope that thyroid will work with the ADs, but said we might need to add a mood stabilizer (as both Zo & JohnX2 have said!) to work with that. Seeing that this is a holiday weekend, I think I will page him today and talk to him about it. I do trust his judgment, tho'.
I guess my frustration with my own self is that I feel like I SHOULD be capable of learning whatever I put my mind to learning. But then I get so depressed and sometimes I just don't care. And I wonder if I'm sabotaging myself. My therapist has mentioned that in the past regarding many things. I joined Weight Watchers about 1 1/2 years ago, and lost 30 lbs. But then couldn't lose anymore (needed to lose about 60-70). And now I've gained nearly all of it back after quitting weight watchers. She asks me what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of EVERYTHING. Job changes, living situations, men, being too 'smart', not being smart enough, etc. etc. etc.
I guess I'm just wondering now if I really can become a doctor even if I devote myself entirely to getting to med school (not to mention getting thru med school!). And I don't know. And that hurts.
And I know it will get better, and worse, and better, and so on...it's been doing that for a while! ;-)
Thanks again, Dinah. Hope you're doing well today.
Penny
poster:Penny
thread:21081
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020325/msgs/21121.html