Posted by Ritch on March 14, 2002, at 23:09:49
In reply to Ugh, posted by JohnDoenut on March 13, 2002, at 11:33:48
> Ugh. I cant talk to anyone else about this. I had gone through a period of productivity recently but then I felt like taking a break but now I cant get unstuck from the break. I know there is stuff I have to do but I just feel paralyzed like I cant do anything. There is stuff I do though like I cranked up loud music and worked out and off the stresses but I still want to escape. I think about where I could go or who I could visit but it doesnt seem enough. I feel like I want to escape myself. Pot doesnt seem to do anymore as it makes me more nuts. I do it once in a great while for the mental vacation. Im taking some other stuff to pump me up but sometimes it just doesnt make a difference. I dont know if im bent on fucking up my life or waiting for fate to run its course and get me a job or dump me on the street. I got married and Im responsbile for her now and I dont want to screw up her life. At this point she is the only reality to me. My anchor. Without her I would be unstuck in time and space. Like I was before her.
>
> JohnD
JohnD,Sounds like you are feeling like a "copper-top". I feel at times like an empty brain plugged into the economy that just chugs away and uses up what I can crank out and then will just cast me away when I start to fail. I had a dream a couple of weeks ago that was very metaphorical with today's economy. My workgroup was given firearms that had a time-delay reaction (to avoid impulsive *emotional* irrational results). We were told to eliminate those among us that were unproductive, and then after we did so the group could split up the money that was saved amongst ourselves. It reached a point where you stopped shooting people and everybody was waving guns at each other trying to make up their mind whether you were going to be worth being shot or not. If you made a mistake and *didn't* shoot somebody you would lose money. If you made a mistake and *did* shoot somebody that was too productive the remaining people (including yourself) would be stuck with too much work. Sort of a perverse "Survivor" episode?? I think it is just capitalism in a nutshell. You are lucky to be "grounded" by such an achor.
Mitch
poster:Ritch
thread:19765
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020314/msgs/19870.html