Posted by sar on February 15, 2002, at 17:20:58
a couple of days ago i received a Valentines Day card from my parents: "From both of us, to our daughter," with all of those silvery enraised words that come on the fronts of greeting cards--how "wonderful" and "joyous" i am, "more than any parents could wish for" etc. enclosed was a ten-dollar bill.
this threw me into raucous sobs. i don't want to be repetitive, 'cos i've talked about it before, but my parents have put me into double binds my entire life. Trouble's thread above struck a chord with me, though my situation was/is not nearly so devastating as hers. Mine was the regular physical/emotional abuse and neglect, speckled with pedestalising me--spending hundreds of dollars on shopping trips at the mall(they wore discount clothes themselves), giving me the food off the plate, one moment saying "You're so clever!" and then "You're an alcoholic, a degenerate slut! You con artist. You're gonna end up living under a bridge." then a good ole beating.
sorry, i did get repetitive. i'm working through getting over the abuse, and that's fine, but i was upset at this phony card with the tenner to "go to your favorite coffeeshop." i don't think they're making up with me, this has happened thousands of times, and i'm sick of it. sure, i can throw the card away, but i'm still left with the hour-long crying screaming fit and a sleepness night (because i do love them, i do!).
have any of you reconciled a situation like this? during my fit, i wrote a note on the card telling them to please quit hurting me, to leave me alone and keep their phony professions that assauge only their own egos...but i asked my older friend about it (she's kind of my surrogate momma-friend) and she said i should just ignore the card, and next time i move, not give them my address.
all prospects break my heart...
poster:sar
thread:18371
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020214/msgs/18371.html