Posted by Mair on December 26, 2001, at 17:48:33
In reply to Pick your battles wisely, posted by cmcdougall on December 26, 2001, at 9:49:28
Sorry but I'm with Carly on this one. Sure this woman is your husband's ex, but she is also the mother of your son's half brother. And, yes, she will be a part of your life for years to come, and hopefully her son will continue to be a part of your husband's and your son's lives, not to mention yours.
My parents didn't split until I was out of college and a few years after that, my father remarried. For years things were awful between my mother and father and family ocassions of any sort were extremely awkward. Really it was my father's wife who made alot of overtures to my mother to make her feel more comfortable, and last night I marveled at the sight of the 2 of them washing dishes together at my house. This is by no means a wonderful dynamic - my stepmother drives me and my siblings nuts and my father sometimes acts like an idiot around my mother and my mother still is visibly uncomfortable around my father - BUT things are tons better than they were and my siblings and I no longer have to race around trying to manage "dual" holidays and worrying about the fact that at some point the 3 of them might end up in the same room forced to try to talk to one another. It's wonderful not to have to be a buffer and you run some risk that you'll force your son to be one.
Mair
poster:Mair
thread:15861
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011216/msgs/15931.html