Posted by Shar on December 7, 2001, at 11:15:21
In reply to Re: A broken record » Cam W., posted by akc on December 6, 2001, at 11:00:37
"I want to be stuck"
I'm wondering if it is helpful for you to take how you feel and tell yourself that's how you want to feel or be?
In the here and now, one could say "I am stuck" or "I feel stuck" and work on that in the here and now, to whatever extent possible.
There are a multitude of reasons that we all get stuck. I understand the therapeutic idea of "wanting" to be a certain way, or "getting something out of" being or feeling a certain way....but I really heartily disagree with the logic upon which it is based.
Being 'stuck' may be a way for you to avoid dealing with something threatening, frightening, or even exciting. However, it is happening in the here and now (even if it is a remnant from your past) and it would seem that the work is to check out what exists in the here and now, what is reality right now, stay with it, let it unfold, accept not being focused, and maybe think a bit about it (have you been here before, what was happening when you felt this the last time).
A wise person said, it's ok to look at the past, but don't stare.
Accept it all as how you are in the here and now without struggling so much against it; resistance is futile, as the Borg would say--you are where you are. The idea being, it's an option to say "I feel really stuck about x today" even if you say it 100 days in a row OR saying "I don't feel too stuck today." We all happen in the moment.
That state of being will change; you will not feel this way forever. If you can have an insight, all well and good. If not, it could just be it is not time. That's why acceptance is so wonderful. It let's us do what work we can, without giving ourselves so much BS about how we feel.
And, don't forget the holidays are fast approaching. That is something I don't particularly want to move forward into. Being stuck in part of one's life is a way of not moving forward.
Realize, though, there are many parts of your life in which you are not stuck. The things you accomplish every day (even if on a survival level) are evidence that you do move forward.
Best,
Shar
poster:Shar
thread:14945
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011207/msgs/15161.html