Posted by susan C on October 16, 2001, at 17:15:48
In reply to Argh, I can't stand it!!!, posted by tina on October 16, 2001, at 14:00:17
> The following message requires a warning: it's a rant!
Phill, Have you seen the demo for the Palm Pilot called Herdin' Cats...?
Tina: Me NEITHER!. I am glad the sun came out for you. It has been gray and wet today, til just a few minutes ago...It is good It got sunny, yesterday was too much for me, I had my 'treat' of a gardener and her two helpers come clean up my postage stamp yard and one of the workers pruned the holly bush into a tree, yikes! scalped is more like it...and then a ADD neighbor came over and kept asking about computer things, then started yakking at the workers and I finally went up to her and said, I am paying these people to work in my yard, please go home, I dont know if i even said please...It was a very difficult day, I havent dealt with four people at one time in a long time...and they didnt get everything done...ohhhhh, i tink I see the trigger, eh? white man?
I havent noticed a difference with a light box, except for the addtional light accentuates the fact that i am getting old and need more light to read.
Mixed States, I think it is called...I was ready to disappear today. Angry at everything. It is a good thing I am alone, if I had a dog, I probably would have kicked it...
a vicious mouse
susan C>
> I am sick of the mood swings. Last saturday, I got up in the morning and had energy and bravado to spare. An agoraphobe by nature lately, I was surprised to find myself itching to go out and see and do everything. Things I usually can't even conceive of without some kind of panic attack. Well, the whole day saturday, I saw, did and enjoyed without a single benzo. I didn't want to come home again. Sunday, the same thing. I wanted to go out, I NEEDED to do something, anything. I stayed out and shopped and visited and had great fun. Monday came round and I even felt I had the nerve to go job hunting and I did. I put in a couple of resumes around town and still had the desire to stay out and do stuff.
> Now, tuesday, I can't do anything. I had planned to go out job hunting again but I can't even get my ass up off the couch to pick up milk and bread at the grocery store. I have hit bottom again. I'm crying over stupid little things. Haven't eaten all day. Yelling at the dog if she comes within 5 feet of me. I absolutely hate myself right now.
> I can't understand why there is such a massive difference today in my mood and function from the last three days. It doesn't come under the heading of rapid cycling. It isn't simple depression. What the hell is it?
> I'm tired of getting up in the morning not knowing who is going to be in the mirror?
poster:susan C
thread:12598
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011015/msgs/12601.html