Posted by shelliR on September 14, 2001, at 20:39:21
In reply to Re: psycho babble open... - ShelliR, posted by sweetmarie on September 14, 2001, at 11:24:08
>
> I now have a new email address -
>
> photojennyuk@yahoo.com
>
> I`ve been wondering how you are ... let me know.
>
> I seem to be on the slippery slope downwards, but I`m TRYING not to be too alarmed.
>
> Love,
>
> Anna.Hi Anna
I am actually still having a really hard time. Instead of going into the hospital, I am trying for this weekend not to make myself work, and not to feel guilty. I have not found going into the hospital much comfort the last two times I went in, so if I can get through this at home, it will be better.
Just came back Sunday from a beautiful vacation, mostly all positive, then Tuesday afternoon I crashed so it must be related to our national crisis, although it is not linked in my mind. I don't know why I have felt so suicidal this week. I can understand being upset, but suicidal seems strange., and absolutely nonconstructive. I'm hoping this feeling will pass. Meanwhile, I have started my old MAOI (nardil) with wellbutrin. I've done wellbutrin for a few weeks now, with no antidepressant effects, but it has energized me. Hopefully restarting nardil after being off it for so long will help. You are on remeron, right? Have you experienced weight gain? I possibly might try that if the nardil doesn't work for me; my pdoc thinks wellbutrin with remeron might be a good combo and that wellbutrin would balance out a weight gain. I think I'd like to change from opiates from oxycontin to buprenorphine because the oxy is losing effect for me. So there are still a lot of things to try; I'm just scared about letting people down workwise and messing up my business.
This weekend I'll try to spend some time in my garden; It is cool enough to move plants around a bit and I'll try to catch some sales at plant shops if I'm not too late. Tonight I went to a candle-lighting vigil in my neighborhood and although I am strangely patriotic for an ex-hippy child of the 70s, it seems very strange/inappropriate to me to be singing nationalistic songs now. Actually, I was more afraid my neighbors would be singing hymns and I am not at all religious, so I would have found that more offensive. Of the three families that sponsored it, I am friendly with two, so I felt some obligation to go (although not an overwhelming one). And they had cake :-) which I don't allow myself in my house.
Take care,
Shelli
poster:shelliR
thread:11115
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010909/msgs/11389.html