Posted by Wendy B. on August 10, 2001, at 14:10:02
In reply to Therapist forgot to tell me about vacation, posted by JennyR on August 9, 2001, at 16:56:27
> My therapist told me in June that he would take the first week in July off and the last two weeks of August. I was there today and he says I'll see you the Thursday after Labor Day. And I say what? What about next week? He says I'll be away. Next week through Labor Day. I say you never mentioned next week, you said the last two weeks in August. He said, yes I guess I said the last couple of weeks. I guess I should have gone over dates. I said you definitely never said three weeks. Actually, from now til when I see him again will be four weeks. He apologized, realized he forgot to tell me what plans he made. Meanwhile he made such a big deal when coming back from the one week in early July asking me a million times what it was like for me was I okay, seemingly unable to accept that it wasn't a big deal (this is the 4th summer with him, it's not ever been that big a dea). So he makes a big deal about the one week he took off ("you must have had a reaction, after all I mean a lot to you, after all, you're used to seeing me twice a week, after all, you're used to me 'being there'((hate that expression)) for you. So he makes this big deal about one week away - which amounted to 10 days of not seeing him, and forgets to tell me that this vacation is not 2 weeks, but 3 1/2 translating into 4 weeks of not seeing him. And this guy is no novice. And we usually have a great rapport. He tells me this on the way out, at the door, not realizing that it's news to me. So now I'm upset, but too bad, because I won't see him for 4 weeks. So I can just stew in it, in how inconsiderate and thoughtless he was. And there were a couple of things I would have addressed if I knew there wasn't going to be a next week. Man, I just can't believe he tells me at the door. He apologized, but still, I think that was incredibly unprofessional.
Jenny:
If you're still having troubles understanding why your therapist says things that don't make sense, or does inconsiderate things, like 'neglect' to tell you when he'll be away, then you should try to find another therapist. Now that he's gone, you have 4 weeks to do this.I remember when you posted a few weeks ago, telling about this guy's behavior, and we were talking about transference. He really does seem to have a problem on a number of fronts. You don't just forget to let your clients know the exact dates that you'll be away. They're not supposed to add to our anxiety, they're supposed to lessen it.
Mine went away for three weeks in the spring, and I knew the dates long beforehand, and it's still very hard being without them. Why does your therapist want you to "confess" that you really did miss him? It sounds kind of punitive...
Find a woman therp., perhaps?
Let me know what's up,
Wendy
poster:Wendy B.
thread:9067
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010807/msgs/9153.html