Posted by Glenn Fagelson on July 14, 2001, at 14:51:41
In reply to Re: Need some support: Monsters and Enemies, posted by Anna Laura on July 14, 2001, at 4:30:07
> >
> > Folks, it has been a real bad day and I could
> > sure use some support because life just doesn't
> > seem worth the bother and the pain.
> > Right now, I would like to crawl in a
> > hole and get a lobotomy for "imagined" misdeeds
> > and misthoughts that I have committed. The
> > "black dog" is upon me today and I do not
> > have the psychic energy to push him away.
> > I have tried to be the best son that any
> > parent would ever want. I am the gentlest
> > of souls. My parents try to make me the whipping boy in my family;
> > and for right now, there is not much I can do
> > about it, due to certain circumstances beyond
> > my control. This is not like me to play the
> > role of the victim, but I guess I am entitled
> > to it for 1 day. Usually I am pretty good
> > at fencing off my parents' negative and
> > critical natures. Not today,however.
> >
> > Glenn
> >
> >
> > Ps: Don't get me wrong; I can be quite assertive
> > as well as gentle.
> >
>
> Hi Glenn,
>
> Don't know what to say except that i've been in your shoes: i definitely know how it feels like.
> i used to say i was the "lightning-rod" of the family. When one member of the family was nervous discharged his/her rage/anxiety over me :i was hit no matter what, even if it wasn't my fault.
> It's difficult to get rid of the role your family assigned you. I don't know if you were talking about this in your post, sometimes i'm having a hard time to decipher the posts, especially if ther's some slang kind of language in it.
> Anyway i'm absolutely sure about this: i know the black dog very well, unfortunately.
> When i was a child i used to call it "the enemy".
> As an adult i've pushed it down deep inside of me, because of rational thinking/psychoanalisis readings,(stay away from that! it's counter-productive!) so that has become part of me now.
> Now it's like a Doctor Jekill/mister Hyde type of thing: the ultimate paradox is that lately i've been considering that i was wiser when i was a child: if you can push this thing out, it definitely still has some control over you, but it's way much easier to counter-attack it. Do you know what i mean? If the monster it's outside you can "talk to him", declare war, fighting it back so that is way more easier to defeat it. I hope this post makes some sense and doesn't sound too weird.....
>
> Hope you're feeling better today
>
> Anna LauraThank you, Anna Laura for your post. I
am sorry to hear that you were the
lightning rod in your family and I
am sorry to hear how you have struggled
with the black dog. Thanks again!
Glenn
poster:Glenn Fagelson
thread:7388
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010706/msgs/7432.html