Posted by susan C on July 13, 2001, at 19:13:44
In reply to It's really bad when you can't even fit in, posted by AKC on July 12, 2001, at 17:31:21
I once had a dream - My brother (suicided at 28) and my father (siezure disorder? major face pain) died of cancer at 59 were out it the middle of a field. The rest of my family was on the other side of the fence, looking out at those two. I was on the fence, in between. That dream has been a theme of my life. In between-on the fence, close to my 'second older' brother and close to my father. Everybody looking at them. They had the problems. Thank you for your posts. this one and the one about ethics have been excellent. The whole process of this message board gets me thinking about things that I wouldn't consider...I would probably just be reading detective novels...or watching tv.
> I was really excited a few weeks ago when I found you all. But like so many places in my life, I feel like I am just on the edge. It is funny - I am doing better emotionally, but I have had a wave of sadness come over me that is really, really strong - it's the aloneness thing. Somedays I just want to be alone, but other days it just about kills me. It's about time for my group therapy, so I won't be alone this evening - plus I am seeing an old friend. But this board is driving me nuts - I want to belong - but I sure don't seem to be fitting in. It's like AA and Alanon - so many folks are long time friends - I am just on the edge - a hangeron person. You hold back, knowing you can't try too hard - that will drive more away than draw them towards you - there is some fine line to walk that I never can seem to see.
poster:susan C
thread:7347
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010706/msgs/7396.html