Posted by sar on July 7, 2001, at 0:50:01
In reply to Re: is suicide ever peaceful?, posted by Willow on July 6, 2001, at 22:08:31
i believe it can be. i hadn't *planned* on doing it *that day,* but i'd been obsessively pondering/planning it for nearly a year. it was a sunday and the gunshops were closed, thought gas would be better anyway. i don't think the body always fights; i can imagine mine succumbing peacefully, given the right atmposphere--the right music, the right drug, the right method.
Mind over body?
i feel like i shouldn't be posting this, because it's quite morbid and i expect most people feel differently...I just want to speak what I believe to be the Truth. Dying at my own hand would #1) be fair, as I'm completely an individual, with no kids or husband etc; #2)rational because the choice and method would be mine--not struck with cancer or AIDS or by a citybus, but the way I want it to be done, and the way I feel most comfortable doing it. #3)human, because people have been committing suicide for about as long as humankind has existed #4) a personal choice--I'm sure my parents and few close friends would feel extreme pain, but not nearly equal to the amount of pain I cause myself internally. They'd go on even if I clearly could not.
These are my beliefs. As I've posted, I'm on meds now that seem to help me, my life is improving, and I don't think I'll kill myself anytime soon. Hopefully this whole mess will disappear and I never will--it's just a *purely* political and emotional topic for me.
Living it out is tough, it's stronger. I respect it more.
I just respect individual choice quite a lot too. Quite Strongly.
respectfully,
sar
poster:sar
thread:7031
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010706/msgs/7141.html