Posted by Glenn Fagelson on June 9, 2001, at 0:57:53
Hi everybody,
I have suffered from major, clinical depression
since I have been 9 years old. I have always wanted
to glean some of the rewards & joys in life that
some others seem to have,
(eg. productivity, a happy marriage, good sex,
earning good money, and being relatively anxiety-free). I cannot tell if my therapist is right or not,
but she seems to feel that I can "think my way" out of
depression with love and the right attitude. And she
feels that I am now ready to start coming off of the meds that I have been on for 23 years.
Also, there are times when I can actually get
the energy to wake up earlier in the morning. But
most of the time, I cannot... because it is very, very
hard for me to fall asleep at night, unless I take
addictive medicines like Xanax and Restoril. So,
she feels that when my sleeping patterns are "out of wack" it is because I have bad habits and that I am
undisciplined; she seems to think that if I can get up early every once in a while, then I should be able to do it all the time. She also seems
to think that self-love and God are the main factors
that will get me over my depression.
Now, I am not discounting anything that she is
saying to me; all I am saying is that "talk" like this
tends to make me feel much more frustrated and depressed, as if I am lazy or do not want to succeed, or that I just want to be resistent (She says that
because my IQ is high; I am a genius at staying depressed). I know that I do work very hard at
changing my thought patterns, but often my brain
feels like molasses. I do everything I can to try
to fall asleep earlier, etc...
Maybe she is right about
all of this; however, I would be grateful to anyone
who wants to respond.Glenn
poster:Glenn Fagelson
thread:6363
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010526/msgs/6363.html