Posted by Noa on May 31, 2001, at 7:46:48
In reply to Re: time-out Birth order?, posted by Rach on May 31, 2001, at 6:24:10
Shar, interesting. The spacing in my family is sister-6.7 yrs-brother-20 months-me-4.4 yrs.-brother. My older brother and I seem to have the most common childhood experiences, for obvious reasons, but only on the surface. Gender made a big difference in terms of my mother's issues and how she related to us. My sister is really like an only because she was one for quite a while. I don't know what you would consider a large gap, but the gap between me and my younger brother might have contributed to that semi-only effect. I left home at 17, so he was there with my parents for 5 years before college (and actually lived at home for the first year of college, so make that 6). He and my mother are remarkably different in many ways but remarkably the same in others (like the "agenda man" thing).
I think one thing that did affect my developemnt was being born not long after my brother. I think my mother was overwhelmed--two kids in diapers, cribs, etc. She likes to tell amusing stories about all the outrageous things my brother would do, as a toddler, just when my mother would sit down to feed me (her favorite is that he decided to clean the cat and went chasing after the cat all over the house pouring a can of ajax powder). Also, I recently found out some things about my mother's childhood that I think contribute to her identifying with me (unconsciously). I had always thought my mother was second-born, but it turns out she was third born. When she was an infant, her 3 year old brother was killed when he was hit by a truck. Sounds far-fetched, but I think it is likely that this affected her feelings as a mother of an infant girl and an active boy toddler.
I guess it makes sense to me that birth order would contribute, along with spacing, but not to foget things like innate temperament, health, family environment, our individual relationships with each parent, etc.
poster:Noa
thread:6233
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010526/msgs/6249.html