Posted by Noa on May 30, 2001, at 16:28:12
In reply to Re: time-out Birth order?, posted by tina on May 30, 2001, at 10:12:04
Who knows? The question of birth order is very intriguing, but who knows if it applies?
In some ways, I fit the middle child portrait fairly well--I'm other-oriented, felt a little overlooked --lived in the shadow of a superstar first born sister, and somewhat in the shadow of a second born brother, but who was clearly in the role of first born son, and then felt usurped by the youngest, a brother, who dutifully played the role of late-born "handful" (charming but mischevious and somewhat hyperactive) to my mother's midlife issues. In my family, the first born is (as is apparently typical for first borns or only kids) very bright and independent minded, a true non-conformist who blazed her own trail early on. The second is definitely a middle child like myself, suppressing his emotional needs and being very other-oriented, despite being treated somewhat like a first born because he was a male in a somewhat traditional family (to the dismay of my younger brother, my elder brother still gets more respect). As I said, I was and am the middle--peacemaker, uniter, careful reader of the emotional climate in the home, social, though much more shy and anxious than my brother, the other middle child. And, the youngest has some characteristics consistent with being the younges, but some that aren't. As a child, he definitely had to suffer the indignities of being the youngest---being seen as "cute" but not being taken very seriously at all. He was definitely the fun loving, somewhat hyperactive kid in the family, the only one that prompted my parents to institute explicit rules and curfews. But as he grew up he turned out to be a lover of control and order. His wife calls him "agenda man" because he always wants to have a plan. He can be impulsive but he is also the best of all of us in a crisis because he is a person of action and a pretty good problem solver. He was and is the most socially outgoing, and he is very community oriented. As a kid the neighbors called him "the mayor of xxxx Street" because starting at a young age he would go house to house to "shmooze" with them (any age neighbor, didn't matter) and they would give him cookies! As an adult, he seems to know just about everyone and still "shmoozes". However, I wouldn't describe him as carefree or anything now.
poster:Noa
thread:6233
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010526/msgs/6239.html