Posted by dougb on May 29, 2001, at 15:40:54
In reply to Re: Thanks for the welcome » dougb, posted by Jane D on May 29, 2001, at 9:42:59
(undeserving that is). Irrational?
-- Beating up on yourself is not rational either, yet most of us do it anyway, go figure.> I'm trying to figure out now when you go from "are sick" to "was sick".
-- Well 'sick' can be a shelter too, it cuts you some slack, it keeps others from twisting your arm to do or be or follow their agenda. 'Give me some space, i'm 'sick'.Am not suggesting that we take a permanent vacation, but many of us have just been or are going through a very traumatic illness/experience/whatever.
For me the process of healing and almost 're-inventing myself' for those that can relate is going to take time.
Have been in some kind of hole/zone/prison for many years. It is only natural that i will have to re-adjust to everyone madly rushing around me, or maybe not.
I really think my head is in a lot better place now than it ever has been. Now, when i stop and smell that rose, it is really getting smelled....
The world has somehow managed to go on without my assistance for the last several years. I now have a really cool oportunity to re-enter the mainstream at the speed and spot i choose.
I have always wanted to do something for humanity, to make a difference, to be an activist, to be passionate and a romantic . These things were always part of me but never found expression.
Somehow, father of 5, employer, homeowner had taken over the things that i always wanted to do and be.
But now, i have a unique opportunity to 're-invent Doug' and express all of those subliminated parts of myself.
Watch out world, here I come!
>Unless of course I'm still being as irrational as I was 10 years ago... Not really something I can expect feedback on from most of the people I deal with. Especially the nice ones.
-- Am happy to provide feedback, need more data. I will tell you this: it is an irrational world and by being a little irrational ourselves sometimes, we fit right in, what do you tink Natasha?
>Are you still improving? Do you think you've crossed that line, that isn't a line but a continuum, yet?
-- Yes, meds still working better than ever, but am still learning how best to use them: if i take to little, they dont dxo their thing, if i take too much, they put me to sleep or prevent me from working.Am going to see a specialist tomorrow, at my MD's request to see what he reccomends.
db
poster:dougb
thread:6181
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010526/msgs/6224.html