Posted by dougb on May 28, 2001, at 15:05:45
Jane:
>I'm another long time lurker - over a year - who recently decided to crawl out into the light.
--Welcome!
>(I guess I can say no to that diagnostic question about impulsiveness :-)
---Sense of humor too!
> I risk the abyss again.
---Ditto that sentiment, sounds like a good title for a poem.
>If I don't go am I being realistic about being sick or just a selfish jerk.
--- You do not sound like a selfish jerk to me, you sound like a sensitive caring person who is coping with a very dificult illness.
Please admit same to yourself, then start being kinder to your self.
I always used to beat myself up: not good enough, not trying hard enough, not worthy, etc, etc.
A turning point for me, that is when i started to get better, was when i started saying: "Doug (that would be me), you are s-i-c-k, you do not want to be sick, if you were not sick, you would do many things diferently.
Others will either realize that you are s-i-c-k and they will make a caring, loving adjustment in the way they treat you, if they do not - than that is _their_ defect not yours".
Sister, do your best to keep your heart in the right place, do what you are able to comfortably do.
Love your self, be kind in to your self in your thinking.
Do not let others offer unkind observations about you, if they do so they are either ignorant or very small people, not worthy of causing self-reproach on your side.
Love
Doug B
poster:dougb
thread:6181
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010526/msgs/6212.html