Posted by mikes on April 18, 2001, at 16:17:22
In reply to Re: Zoloft Marijuana, posted by hash on April 17, 2001, at 20:06:19
Hash- I identified with you immediately after reading your posts. I am 17 years old and a senior in high school. I moved to Virginia from Connecticut at the end of 9th grade. I had quite a few good friends in Connecticut, but when I came to Virginia I hated it. To this day I have few friends. I blamed it on a number of things, including the reasons that you mentioned, but the real problem was that I was depressed. For my entire life. I was rarely sad or hopeless, but I didn’t enjoy many activities, and I was always tired, restless, anxious, and irritable. Despite this I was able to make very good friends in Connecticut. My sister, who is the opposite of me as far as depression goes, made the transition with ease. She made lots of friends within a few months. Anyway, I was always very shy and anxious in social situations. I also had a fear of rejection like you do. I didn’t realize I was depressed until the beginning of my senior year, after a summer of trying illicit drugs. So I tried St. John’s Wort and it worked amazingly. I wasn’t restless or anxious. I blossomed socially (with the friends I did have). I could start a conversation and make friends with almost anyone I met. I was so confident in social situations, it felt great. I was happy for the first time ever.
Unfortunately it stopped working very well after a month. So I experimented for a few more months with 5-HTP, with some success. But not enough. So I decided to get some prescription medication. I started zoloft 2.5 weeks ago. So far I don’t notice any mood elevation. I doubt it will kill your personality, it may make you less edgy though, if it works. If it makes you less social, it probably isn’t working. Individual medications only work for about 20-30% of people, you should keep experimenting. How long have you been on the Zoloft?
As for the marijuana, you should cut down on it right away. Try to stop for at least a week. It could interfere with the effectiveness of the antidepressant. I’m not saying this because I’m against drugs. I love weed (and ecstasy, opium, ghb, acid, nitrous….). But you should try to smoke as little as possible until you can find an antidepressant that works. Once you do, start smoking again and see how it makes you feel. That’s the only way to know for sure what effect smoking has on the effectiveness. If you have a hard time coming off the weed, try to get a little wellbutrin prescribed, that should make coming off a bit easier, no promises though.
Why will getting on an antidepressant cheat you out of fun childhood? I know I was resistant to starting an antidepressant, but not for that reason. Being happy with life is very fun, and it will give you plenty of great memories. Wouldn’t you like to be stoned all day? I know I would. Being on an antidepressant that works is like being slightly high all day. Especially compared to the feelings you have all day when you’re depressed.
Working hard in school is a good idea, but it’s extremely difficult to do when you have no motivation to do it. I never did my homework, but fortunately I was blessed with a good deal of intelligence, so I could still do very well in school. Getting rid of depression might help you do better in school. Stopping the weed will probably help too. At the very least, don't smoke the night before a test. When I smoke at night after I study for a test, I forget everything I studied. Maybe that doesn't happen for you, but at least try it once and see if you do better.
I used to agree with you completely about living life on the edge. I still haven’t come to the conclusion that that idea is wrong. Before last summer all I wanted was to not have a normal job. I wanted to run away and grow pot, or wander around europe working odd jobs, or just become a junkie, or be homeless somewhere. Running around europe would have been quite fun. But I changed my mind and decided that I wanted to become a neuropharmacologist or a psychiatrist. That way I can research ways to make myself (and hopefully other people) very happy. Much happier than living on the edge, however exciting that would be. I agree that money is kind of useless. There is no purpose to life. Life exists because of reproduction, I guess that is kind of the purpose. Sure it’s bullshit, but why go against it if it’s an enjoyable path to take.
I was thinking about running away permanently, not just for a summer. I don’t think you should do it. People are roughly the same everywhere.
However, maybe you should go away for the summer. To a camp, to a resort town to work, etc. You could find a lot of new friends; it would be a lot better than staying home for the summer.
Be happy that you discovered your depression early on. I have no doubts that you will be able to end it some time in the near future. Unfortunately I wasted three years of high school on depression before I came to terms with it. You have a lot of fun to look forward to. Don’t give up.
poster:mikes
thread:5554
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010417/msgs/5731.html