Posted by Todd on April 12, 2001, at 22:54:00
In reply to friends you thought you had , posted by smylin on April 12, 2001, at 20:20:02
Hi, Smylin. I had the same thing happen to me after I was hospitalized for my manic break. I had a rather new friend that I wasn't really close to yet at the time. When he went away to college, we briefly lost touch. I was hospitalized at the beginning of the spring semester, and he didn't find out about it until summer came along and he came back home.
I can still remember us getting back together and me saying "Oh yeah, by the way, I went a little crazy and spent some time in the hospital while you were away." He was incredulous and obviously hurt, leaving me quite puzzled as you may be right now. I didn't know what to make of it, and thought he was almost trying to pry into my life. Since then, we have become very close friends. Looking back, I was very insecure and my self-esteem was weak at the time. It took some degree of reflection years later to realize that he cared a hell of a lot more about me than I had imagined possible at the time. What I saw as a "defect" in his character was actually the stuff true friendship is made of. I distrusted him because of my own weak self-esteem. And because of his own low self-esteem, he distrusted me because he felt insulted that I didn't value him enough to keep him informed about my personal life.
So here we were, two young men looking at each other with suspicion and distrust when in actuality both of us truly needed and saw in the other the potential for a true friendship. We were just too afraid to really go for it. Thank God we didn't get mired down in that surface gunk. Below all of that is a soul that wants to connect. Reach out to your friend, take her hand as she takes yours. Hold on loosely, but don't ever let her go. You need friends like that. They're the only ones who will be there when you stumble, and they'll be the ones cheering you on when you start to walk again. Peace and love.
Todd
poster:Todd
thread:5636
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010404/msgs/5637.html