Posted by ksvt on November 22, 2000, at 17:02:02
In reply to Re: Suicidal Feelings, posted by Noa on November 22, 2000, at 12:56:18
>Noa - thanks for your response, which as is typical with you, was thoughtful and articulate. I really do value your perspective. I know on some level that I need to be exploring other med combos. I have so little confidence about finding anything that will make much of a difference, that there is an approach avoidance about this. However, things are bad enough now that I think my therapist will probably start that inquiry with my pdoc if I don't. For now I just feel spent. I need to find a way not to think about myself for awhile. Thanks again ksvt
Where do I start--these last few posts are about so much. I'll start here with one topic, and post about others in another post.
>
> Unrelenting suicidal feelings are oppressive. An oppressive life. Maybe I am wrong, but I have to think that it is worth continuing the search for a better med combo to ease this opression.
>
> I guess at this point, I don't expect myself to never experience any suicidal thoughts or feelings, but I do expect to have periods without them, in fact I expect to have most days of my life without them. Sure, when I think about it, they are in there, deep down and can be brought up sometimes. I am not "rid" of them. But I think you all deserve to live life without them on the surface all the time.
>
> I know you have each worked very hard to try to find the right combo of meds and have worked hard in therapy, too. So, encouraging you to keep the search up is not meant to imply that you haven't been searching.
>
> Last year, I never would have believed it possible to be free of that oppression. But here I am--not "rid" of the suicidal thoughts put away somewhere, quieted somehow, but I am free of the oppression of not being able to tolerate myself each waking moment I live.
>
> If your pdoc is weary, it is time to consult a consultant for new ideas you and your pdoc can try.
poster:ksvt
thread:2943
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001117/msgs/3172.html