Posted by shar on November 21, 2000, at 21:29:56
In reply to Need Some Advice, posted by Adam on November 21, 2000, at 19:13:44
Adam,
I would like to respond to the parts of your post in which you felt bad that you didn't have buckets of sympathy for the ways in which this person behaved. I agree that not every seeming "cry for help" is genuine, one symptom (for lack of a better word) of some illnesses is that the ill person jerks other people around, and lies, and tries to make self look good or better than others, or cries wolf about being in pain, or otherwise uses people around him or her.While I think it is appropriate to have sympathy that he is in pain, he needs help, he probably had a traumatic time in his early years, and so forth...I don't believe it's helpful or appropriate to believe everything he says (to be lied to again and again) or ignore what may obviously have all the signs of another ploy designed to get attention (and probably have a negative impact on others in the process).
Alcoholics, of course, are famous for this.
In these types of situations, I believe it is important to try to be respectful, but it is most likely unhelpful and gullible to believe everything you hear, especially when it flies in the face of logic and is reminiscent of past manipulations.
My opinion--
Shar
poster:shar
thread:3090
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001117/msgs/3120.html