Posted by coral on November 1, 2000, at 9:17:57
In reply to Plans for getting through the holidays?, posted by Rainwoman on November 1, 2000, at 8:18:08
Dear Rainwoman,
Oh, my . . . yes, the holidays. Blick. The Grinch is my hero. I don't know why you don't have family to visit so my story may not apply at all. Three years ago, the ugliest of the ugly family fights ensued (only verbal, but that was enough), my husband and I just left. After thoroughly analyzing the pattern, I realized that my sister's attacks (she's BPD) on me had accelerated every holiday season for the past ten years. I realized I went home to be with my folks, and it was a habit. One parent is dead and the other one has been in a nursing home for five years, yet, each year, I'd trudge home for more abuse. Well . . . duhhh... I haven't been home for a holiday since. My sister keeps insisting that the fight is the cause, and I keep telling her it's the tension in our relationship that seems unresolvable. So, since then, my husband and I decide what we want to do and it's been so very liberating - and we've done everything from "doing nothing" to the full-blown dinner for his side of the family. I have NO idea what we're going to do this year but I'm not worried, because I'm NOT going to do anything that I don't want to do.
If you're drawn to the volunteering, do it!!!!!!!!! One day, I was aimlessly driving around and saw a rummage sale at a mission. I went in, and there was an old piano in the corner. I began playing, very softly. Pretty soon, lots of people gathered around and for three hours, we all sang our lungs out. It was one of the most uplifting experiences of my life.
CoralPS Yes, today is a good day! Hope yours is as well, Michele.
poster:coral
thread:1927
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001031/msgs/1928.html