Re: downdate

Posted by shar on October 29, 2000, at 22:35:01

In reply to Re: downdate, posted by coral on October 29, 2000, at 14:55:42

Rats and double rats.
My therapist thought it was a breakthrough when I started talking about homicide more than suicide.
Shar

> Rats. Crabgrass. Crap. The beast apparently left a few items and returned. This weekend has been a complete wash, which REALLY ticks me off because I'd strung a couple of really good weeks together, including wed/thur (two 18 hour days of on-site intensive work with a client) and I felt great. Not only am I NOT considering reducing my meds, I upped the Zoloft today. Things I wanted to do this weekend, looked forward to doing, became demands from some evil overlord and I haven't done a damned thing. Even taking a bath required more energy that I possess. WARNING: I suspect this is going to be a lonnnnnnnng vent. The ONLY good thing I can say is that I am angry and feeling any emotion is better than the depression deadness. Referring to my previous post, I don't think I've fallen into the abyss, but I have a LOT more mud and junk clinging to me than I thought. I will not be licked by this son of a bitch. Nothing has the right to creep into my life and steal. I realize all the calm rational considerations that depression is a disorder, part of my brain, etc., but right now, I am in a war and it MAY be with myself. Damm it to hell. There are enough external problems without me sabotaging myself. I am so damned sick and tired of being sick and tired. I rarely feel anger, even when I'm not depressed (maybe that's part of the problem?), so I'm not all that used to feeling anger. So, after admitting I was feeling anger and dealing with the fear of feeling anger, I'm STILL angry. Who knows? Maybe my therapist would call this a break-through. I don't want to analyze it, think it away, be rational about it, or adult or mature about it. I'm ticked off. Shattering china sounds like a fun thing to do right now.

Thread

Thanks help, please! coral 10/27/00
Re: Thanks help, please! » coral allisonm 10/27/00
Re: Thanks help, please! Ted 10/27/00
Re: Thanks help, please! ksvt 10/27/00
Re: Thanks help, please! » coral shar 10/27/00
Re: Update coral 10/28/00
Re: Thanks help, please! Noa 10/28/00
Re: downdate coral 10/29/00
Re: downdate shar 10/29/00
Re: downdate noa 10/30/00

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