Posted by Snowie on October 18, 2000, at 7:39:47
In reply to Post-postings Evaluation, posted by shar on October 17, 2000, at 21:30:46
Shar,
My last post on this subject as well.
I agree with you. Everybody seems to be apologizing now for silly little things for fear of upsetting someone. Dr. Bob is a pretty good referee with his "please be civil" posts. I haven't seen any such posts lately. However, when do these heated arguments become too much?
I was a member of a Listbot a while back, and there was a hard, fast rule: If at any time you became truly angry at another poster for any reason, any correspondence to that poster was to be done by private email. Consequently, we had some great group discussions, and conflicts were rare.
Snowie
snowie98@hotmail.com> I will post once more because I don't want people to be afraid to post their true opinions, or withhold posting because they don't want to be "negative." It is a given that, because we are human, we will disagree at times, and disappoint each other at times.
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> I hope everyone understands I am not advocating a farewell to kindness.
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> I don't see the above series of posts as an argument, but a discussion that included disparate views, and some heated words, but very much a part of how it is in the real world.
>
> My concern is about withholding, which I can see as being identically as negative as exchanging a few harsh words. And the harshness was ironed out, not left to fester and linger as grudges. I'm paying $30 every Monday night to learn how to do that.
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> So, I am not left feeling there was a big argument or to-do. To me it's a success in the sense that people said what they felt and believed, some agreed to disagree, and it seems to me everyone ended up with their ideas expressed, acknowledged in some way, and parted friends. Perhaps there are secret grudges or undercurrents I did not pick up on, but it felt really healthy to me.
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> My main regret was that, as part of the discussion, Rzip, you did get "talked around" and that is uncomfortable and unpleasant. I would not know right now how to avoid that happening, but I'm sure there is a way to be more inclusive.
>
> Shar
poster:Snowie
thread:1083
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001011/msgs/1254.html