Posted by Rzip on October 13, 2000, at 20:39:06
In reply to Re: Do I have a problem?, posted by Cass on October 13, 2000, at 19:33:47
> I do have sort of fuzzy black-outs where I act a different way than I generally do. Like in general, people find me to be very pleasant to talk with and people usually like me a great deal at work (laboratory). The trouble is, I actually do not know what the trouble is. All I really know is that my p-doc tells me that I have a big problem. That I am spinning out of control again. But, p-doc (I hope that means therapist, I just notice people write p-doc a lot here) can not really help me because I can not admit that I have a problem to her. It is very confusing. Because when I am in this dark cloud, I am extremely happy. I have a lot of fantasied people in my head and I carry on conversations with them. And I am happy! But somehow I behave different at different times or something. I just really do not know. I just feel confident and well most of the time. But I am seeing a p-doc and she says I have a big problem that I am not admitting to. Deep down inside, I know that p-doc is right. But except for headaches, drosiness, and panic attacks, and illusions, and loss of concentration, I do not feel any other emotions. I do not feel sad, I do not feel worried. Nothing. It is like I am a biological robot without any feelings or emotions. My p-doc is much more worried about me than I am. But I see her start to withdraw and losing hope in me. That hurts a great deal. I really do not exactly know what is the matter with me. Other people are more pumped up about me than I am. I just do not know whether I have a problem or not. People in the therapeutic community are scaried and a little hestitant toward me. People in my lab and classes think I am just a very polite, docile, and a VERY private person. I obviously feel better living in the outside world where people like me rather than the therapeutic world where people tells me that I am bordering on being psychotic. But I do know that something is not right with me as compared to the general public. So, I do not really know what help to ask for. I am just shooting needles in a hay stack and hopefully, I will get some response. Everything is just very cloudy. I should really be concentrating on my schoolwork, but I feel distracted by my fantasy life. Unlike before, I am starting to get worried and annoyed with my fantasy people. Just any help, any sign of human response are welcome here.
Sincerely,
Rzip> I think that I have a problem. I think I have split personalities or something. Does any one on the board have any experiences with it?
> >
> > Rzip
>
> Can you give some more detail? Like, do you black out and forget things you've done? Or do you just have distinct moods? Do you have different names for your personalities? I'm not a psychologist, but maybe we can help you more with more details. Also, were you a victim of childhood trauma or any other kind of trauma? Hope to hear more from you!
> Cass
poster:Rzip
thread:1036
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001011/msgs/1039.html