Posted by Ted on October 13, 2000, at 14:27:18
In reply to Re: Who Am I? Ditto...I'd love CNP, posted by chdurie2 on October 12, 2000, at 21:21:50
Noa, Hello, Chdurie2, and all,
(This is gonna be a little long, so bear with me)
Please re-read my post. Depression is hell -- no mistaking that. But once treated successfully, don't you find yourself feeling different from CNPs? Remember, we have had experiences that CNPs will never have. Most of our experiences are terrible, but because of them, we can understand and relate to others much better. And our experiences often provide creativity that others lack.
When I came home from the hospital in May, 1999, after a week in psych ICU for bipolar disorder rapid cycling, I was talking with a neighbor. He is in his 50s and he asked me what depression was. What did it feel like, etc. He had never experienced depression in his life! Now, if one of us has a friend who is suffering a bout of depression, don't you think we would be more understanding than my CNP neighbor?
Another example: before I was diagnosed, I considered all drug addicts to be low-life failures that did not deserve help. My perspective is so different now, it is difficult for me to explain. I now understand that most addiction is an attempt to self-treat depression, bipolar disorder, ADD, etc. Addicts are sick people like all of us, and they need the same understanding and treatment. I now believe once treated, most addicts would avoid street drugs & excessive alcohol.
A little about me: I'm 39. I have known depression & bipolar-II disorder since I was 9. I didn't understand until I was about 13 what depression was. I would rapid cycle from long periods (months) of depression to short periods (days to weeks) of hypomania. When I was in college, I jokingly called it "manic-depression" not knowing how correct my self-diagnosis was! It wasn't until Jan 1999 that I sought help. This was after 3 major depressive crises, each lasting more than 2 years, and a long period of depression with no hypomania lasting 4-5 years. I couldn't handle the paxil I was given, so I stopped it. As my depression worsened, I sought a pdoc and was given zoloft. Over the next 6 days, I cycled from severe hypomania (or moderate real mania) to *severe* depression three times (each cycle was 48 hours). On the verge of suicide, my wife took me to the local hospital. My meds were adjusted (depakote added, then wellbutring also) and now I am on the road to feeling really rather well, though far from CNPish :-). My experience has taught me that there are *millions* of people with similar or worse conditions that need help and support. I do my part by making annual cash donations (with matching funds from my employer) to the hospital where I was treated to be directed to their PICU ward.
Take care all,
Ted
poster:Ted
thread:990
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001011/msgs/1034.html