Posted by tina on September 3, 2000, at 20:47:37
In reply to Re: Lessons, posted by Phil on September 3, 2000, at 10:52:58
>You sound like a strong determined person Phil. I envy your persistence. I just don't have that anymore. I only have the empty hopeless trapped existence of depression an deep unfulfillment in life. I hope you find your meaning Phil. I wish you the very best of luck in your search. I admire it and hope someday I will feel that strength too. Thanks Phil.
Tina, I'm coming to realize that the only way to any taste of serenity is to get myself back into recovery..as in working the 12 steps. The steps can be practiced by anyone but I need to get back to the meetings. When I was going to ACOA and Al-Anon I, for most of the 2-3 years was medication free. I was also in talk therapy on a regular basis. I felt more serenity there than at any time on medication.
> I believe that I can find that serenity again(I'm not jumping off the meds just yet!) if I commit myself to helping others in any way I can. Anything to get the focus back on what's really important in life..love. Helping and sharing with others who are hurting. Just like we all do here at Babble except it's live, in person. I miss the hugs and the chills I would get when hearing the most unlikely person in the room telling my story. I miss the tears.
> For me, meds will not help the spiritual vacuum created in my soul while growing up in an alcoholic home. I need help from above and I need it badly now.
> Anyway, my life now hopefully will consist of several ways to fight this demon:Faith, meetings, meds, therapy, exercise, Babble, and meditation.
> This is where I'm at. I'm certainly not giving advice or asking for any.
> For me, taking meds and isolating has been my life for several years now. I have to learn to trust again and I have to FEEL again.
> Meds have saved my life but they have not improved it. I have to have more.
poster:tina
thread:390
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20000813/msgs/421.html