Posted by Bird Watcher on September 29, 2008, at 3:55:30
In reply to Re: Friendships and such, posted by JayMac on September 27, 2008, at 15:21:17
Thanks for your message and welcome. I actually used to post under WorryGirl, but something happened where my password stopped working, so I started all over with a new handle.
As my former name suggests, I am a bundle of worries. But I have made strides here and there. Just not in friendships. I think my anxiety turns people off. No matter how much I think I'm not coming across that way, it reeks from me. I am the kind of person people think seems pretty together and cool until I really open up my mouth. So I either have to shut it completely and alienate myself, or keep talking and do the same.
I am not currently in cog therapy because we have moved and have two houses on the market right now. But I have been trying to practice what I paid for. It seems to me like I need to focus on what I am trying to accomplish. I get off track so easily.
I get discouraged at my lack of social abilities. I'll seem to do OK for a while. I'll seem to be hitting it off with someone, then I just blurt out the wrong thing and blow it. Then maybe they give me another chance and I do it again. At that point, people either humor me (and it's not hard to spot when people are merely tolerating me, especially when they roll their eyes behind my back), completely write me off.
I overcame a MAJOR result of my anxiety not too long ago - bulimia. This gives me hope! But now it seems like a whole new set of anxieties are creeping up, probably to replace that one.
I do know that I am an approval junkie and that is always the kiss of death. I want so much not to care, but I do. It is impossible to not.
poster:Bird Watcher
thread:853443
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20071110/msgs/854737.html