Posted by Bird Watcher on September 22, 2008, at 13:54:07
I just moved to a different state. It is probably a bit of a challenge for anyone socially, but for me it is hell all over again. Like several other posters here, I find it hard to make friends easily. If it wasn't for my best friend, who thankfully lives here, I wouldn't have a soul to talk to, which has been the case for me so many times in the past. The only problem is that she has so much going on that it is hard for her to spend much friendship time with me, and I understand that. I take what I can get.
It seems like there are very few people out there who like me the way I am.
I know that I have a lot of issues. I can be a compulsive talker, and I know that alienates people. I think I start doing it because when I give the other person a chance to talk, they don't say anything or very little. It is like they are waiting for me to prove how socially inept I am. And trust me, I do. It's not even that I talk too much necessarily. I say offbeat things - not intentionally but out of nervousness. I guess I'm looking for some kind of reaction subconsciously, and the reaction I get is "See ya", as in permanently. By offbeat, I just don't sound cool when I'm having a conversation, more like a desperate dork.
My one friend and my husband love me and find me interesting enough, but everybody else seems to avoid me once they have had a conversation.
One of my new neighbors came over and brought over cookies not long after we moved here. I thought this was a great sign of a friendly neighborhood, as we've never had that happen in the past places we've lived. She called me a week or two later and we were on the phone for two hours. Honestly, she did most of the talking because I asked her questions about herself, which she was more than happy to answer. The next time we talked, I did most of the talking, and I guess I gave too much inappropriate info out about myself, because not only has she completely avoided me ever since, she doesn't seem to even want her kids having anything to do with mine. After calling her twice and leaving short friendly messages, and getting no response, I have given up yet again. She is a SAHM and from what she told me she doesn't seem extraordinarily busy. Her car is in the driveway almost all the time and she doesn't care for any disabled children or adults. I guess I just didn't fit her idea of a cool friend.
This seems to be a fairly typical scenario socially in my pathetic social life. It is obvious that I have problems. But no meds have helped me in this area, only ones that made me want to sleep all the time and made me feel emotionally numb. I am not on meds now, as I have been trying to practice the cognitive therapy from my years and thousands upon thousands of dollars spent in therapy.
I think I'm just a freak with low self-esteem, horrible social skills, OCD and major anxiety issues.
But I'm a nice person. Ha ha. Enough to make anyone LTAO. Wanna be my friend?
poster:Bird Watcher
thread:853443
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20071110/msgs/853443.html