Posted by ClearSkies on September 4, 2007, at 8:50:39
In reply to relationship going down hill, posted by hoolahoop on September 2, 2007, at 9:49:05
> my fiancee has depression/anxiety more so than me. and i am feeling abused with his behaviour. i dont know where to start , he swears at me calls me bitch, embaresses me in public, he has no money or job prospects, he doesnt know how to manage money, hes always borrowing money off me. we are always fighting, he slams doors, shouts at me, its never his fault.... i feel so depressed. why cant i leave him? he tells me im the only thing hes got. he doesnt see his parents. i dont know if i should stay or go. if i go, im scared of being on my own but i cant take his sh*t anymore. i am seeing a counsellor in aweek. i hope its not a waste of money. he says its his meds doing this to him. is it really?
First of all - I'm sorry that I didn't respond before to this message. I saw it and thought about it and thought, "someone else will have a better idea than I do" and there it sat.
I'm glad that you're going to see a counselor - you'll get some skills on how to handle this situation whether you stay or leave. Is his behaviour a change from how he used to be? Did he start becoming short tempered after he started taking medication, or did it get worse? Not that I'm looking for an exuse, but just to look at what's going on.
Knowing how to respond in a relationship where you're both suffering calls for a lot of gentleness from both parties. Neither of you are coming from your best at the moment, and from my experience, it's the people we love most that we behave the worst with. I treat my husband abominably at times, and I'm quite ashamed at this. Yet he's quite unflappable and seems to be able to "go with the flow".
I do think that you getting help for yourself right now is the best thing you can do for the relationship.
ClearSkies
poster:ClearSkies
thread:780340
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20070210/msgs/780737.html