Posted by jo.uk on February 18, 2007, at 3:33:02
In reply to anyone here pro-children, but anti marriage?, posted by calamityjane on February 17, 2007, at 20:15:56
I think any relationship risks heartbreak, whether you have the piece of paper saying you're married or not.
You certainly dont deserve children any less if you're not married, but maybe children deserve a committed relationship to help them feel more secure. You dont have to be married to be committed. Having kids with someone is even more of a commitment than marriage I think. Having kids is also more joyful,more stressful, more demanding than any marriage.
I met my husband at 19 (he was 18), we got a mortgage within a year, had first child when I was 21, second child when I was 23 but didnt get married to him until I was 31. At 31 I felt I wanted to be his wife. Not a partner or girlfriend, but a wife. Suddenly it had meaning to me. I'm not sure why. But if you dont feel it, you dont HAVE to do it. It doesnt make you less of a mother. By the way, our wedding was a civil ceremony as neither of us are religious.
Regards
Jo
poster:jo.uk
thread:733696
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20070210/msgs/733754.html