Posted by Jost on November 5, 2006, at 11:28:28
In reply to Need advice !, posted by Basia on November 5, 2006, at 3:18:30
Basia, you don't say what it's like on the weekends, or what type of relationship you have with him, so far.
Have you spoken about commitment? or whether he's seeing other women?
My instinct would be to talk about it-- and get some answers. If the relationship would peter out if you didn't initiate, you probably wouldn't be happy in the longterm.
Whatever his way of being in a relationship--and I"m really guessing-- it may be rather passive yet controlling (the two ways he treats you, in different spheres)-- ie finding someone who will pursue him and also accept his definition of how things should be-- He seems to be keeping you on the hook, a bit, controlling access, being available in an intermittant, and uncertain way.
I don't know if you'd be comfortable with that. It's not that you couldn't be--it might depend on whether he's more flexible, or how much you really value his other qualities. Even at this stage, you're picking up how he organizes his emotions and the kind of distance, and level of involvement that he's comfortable with. At least, that's my guess.
Jost
poster:Jost
thread:700515
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060920/msgs/700573.html