Posted by bent on November 1, 2006, at 8:45:03
I am not sure what board this belongs on. It’s mostly about my fiancé but also has to do with therapy. I have been with my boyfriend for 11 years. A year ago we both decided to see a therapist at the practice where I see my own therapist. For some basic relationship problems (wanted better communication, more romance, etc.) but mainly because he had been spending several hours on porn sites about 3-4 days a week. The porn came before me and our responsibilities and I was ready to leave him. Things got better. There were months of no porn at all, then sometimes there would be a little but nothing at all like before. Over the past 2 weeks I noticed my fiancé had been on the computer and on porn sites more. Maybe only a half hour every few days but that’s too much for me. My discovery yesterday is what has me so upset now. There were 3 straight hours of gay porn sites. From young men-to middle age, doing everything. I feel like I am in outer space. I don’t understand. What is going on? He says he was just looking. Most guys I know don’t care to look at gay porn at all. I am so freaked out. I don’t trust him. I asked him if he wanted us to break up and he says no. He gets all mad at himself and tells me he doesn’t understand why he does stupid things like this. That he ‘messed up.’ Of course he says sorry and says he’ll not touch the computer. This is all great but I can’t get those images out of my head. I can’t just forget that he spent 3 hours looking at gay porn. I don’t know what to do. I feel so desperate. I don’t know if I should call our couples T and ask to talk to her. Our next appt with her is next week. I’d almost rather talk to her alone right now. I see my own T tomorrow but I feel so embarrassed to tell her. She’s seen me through one problem after another in this relationship and I’d feel like a fool telling her this. My fiancé and I get through problems and get to a place where things feel good and then something explodes. I love him, that’s why this hurts so much. But I don’t know what to do.
poster:bent
thread:699549
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060920/msgs/699549.html