Posted by Jost on October 30, 2006, at 22:25:15
In reply to How does someone end a relationship?, posted by neilkramer on October 28, 2006, at 11:44:26
There's no easy way to end a relationship, nk. Even if the ending is mutual, it's a sad and difficult thing.
Even more so when it's not. Of course, it's probably harder on the person who's being left, but still, that doesn't make it easy for you.
If what you're really asking is what you owe the woman you're seeing, I'd say honesty, within the limits of caring and support-- ie saying whatever you say in a sensitive way-- .
That, and perhaps picking the right time-- not in terms of some other month-- but at a moment when she's sober, and she has enough time to get whatever answers she needs.
Maybe you also owe it to her to stay away-- not to intrude on her space afterward and not to give mixed messages out of guilt. Ultimately, you'll break up with her, and what seems like kindness, in prolonging the evitable, can really be destructive in many ways.
The one thing you don't owe her is a relationship that you don't want to be in.
It's hard to let go-- but if this isn't right for you, you have the right to end it.
Sorry it's turned out this way.
Jost
poster:Jost
thread:698446
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060920/msgs/699219.html