Posted by Asya on October 29, 2006, at 15:31:21
I hope someone can give me some realistic non-judgemental advice on this issue. I am 28 and single. I have dated but never been in a long term relationship. Until recently, my close college friends were also in this situation (single and never really been in LT relationships) and because of that, we had a lot to bond over, as well as a lot of time for one another. We also all shared certain opinions/theories about men and relationships. It felt comfortable to share somewhat non traditional views with these women in my life.
In the past year, all of them have suddenly found the loves of their lives and suddenly, their views have changed, their lives have changed. I truly feel like they have lost their ability to empathize with me and my being single. I won't lie, I am also jealous of them and have become depressed over being the last single friend. I never thought this would happen.
As a result, I have distanced myself from these friends. I told one that I simply needed my space because I needed time to evaluate my own life (which is certainly true), and have also painted a picture of my life as busy with career (also not a lie, I am a doctor) -- so as to avoid speaking to them much. I have never let on that I am not 100% happy for them and their new lives.
I want to be clear that I haven't cut off ties, just distanced myself to really protect myself from pain. Please advise, is this ridiculously unhealthy or naturaL? How else can I manage the pain of being single amidst close friends suddenly finding love? I sometimes feel I will patheitcally drown in my own jealousy and I don't want to be like this. Still, life seems so unfair, why can't I find someone too?
poster:Asya
thread:698777
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060920/msgs/698777.html