Posted by llrrrpp on August 24, 2006, at 22:09:36
In reply to Long-Distance Relationships, posted by w87ylime on August 21, 2006, at 9:45:45
Hi w87ylime,
I've was in a long-distance relationship the last 2 years of college. I am also currently (sadly) in LDR with my husband, who's in the military.Welcome to psychobabble :)
I think that everyone's relationship is different. You are both about to enter a very new, very exciting, very complicated, phase of your lives. Believe it or not, you're still growing up. There will be plenty of time to spend the rest of your lives together. AND there will be plenty of time to meet your eventual life-long partner.
The most important thing in any relationship, but ESPECIALLY the beast known as LDR is trust. Things happen in college. You may meet someone at a party. You may hook up with them, or develop an attraction for someone else. You may do somethings that you regret, and you may do somethings that you really enjoy.
Can you tell your bf everything that happens to you? Can you trust your bf to tell you everything?
I'm not saying that you *have to* or even that you should tell your bf about every random wink you attract, or every nasty guy that hits on you at a party. HOWEVER, you should be open and honest with yourself and with your bf to know that you will always be able to talk about these things with him.
Another thing that may happen is that you may change a little. You will get to know lots of people, and who knows? maybe you get a crush on one of them. Are you honest with yourself to know when a crush is going to change your relationship? Because the second that a crush changes your relationship with your bf, he deserves to know about it. It's his relationship too. A passing fancy for the guy on the diving team, vs. a full-out stalking assault and subsequent hook-up with someone you would like to become intimate with. Can you recognize the difference?
Still want to give it a try? the most important person to talk about this with is your bf. make sure that you're speaking from the heart, and not from some set of ideals- that you are a good gf, and this is what good girlfriends say to their bfs.
Trust and communication. Also, be prepared to spend LOTS of time talking to him on the phone. maybe an hour a day. Can you make time for him, or are you going to ditch your bf over and over to hang out with your new friends, study, and do all that other stuff that college freshmen discover requires effort?
keep us up to date on what happens-
best of luck to you. I've seen it work out, and I've seen it not work out (happily) and not work out (sloppily).Try to avoid the latter case! Life is stressful enough, right?
-ll
poster:llrrrpp
thread:678679
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060621/msgs/679798.html