Posted by llrrrpp on August 24, 2006, at 21:55:36
In reply to No one to complain to, posted by curtm on August 22, 2006, at 10:35:31
Curt, what's psychobabble for? Complain to us!!
Seriously, passive-aggressive is a description of a set of a behaviors, it's not a diagnosis. I don't think you are 'one'.
I think the real curtm is more complicated than just passive-agressive. Find out what this set of behaviors is, and find out what triggers you to act in certain ways.
For example, I haven't been witness to a passive-aggressive manipulation from curtm (to my knowledge). Maybe I was just too dumb to recognize it, but it doesn't strike me as a dominant part of my interactions with you.
Talk to your T (coffee) about what these behaviors are, why you think they are unhealthy/unproductive/harmful/annoying/whatever. I bet that he can help you figure out more satisfying coping mechanisms and better ways to communicate with your loved ones.
Also, think about the contexts in which you do this stuff. I don't think you do it online. What is it about face2face communication that brings it out in you? Do you behave this way with your children, with your coworkers, with your doctors, with men, with women, with pets, with people who know you well, with people who only just met you, with people from church, with people from the swimming pool. etc.
Find out how pervasive it is. And try to think about how you would behave if someone from a non-affected group (i.e. someone like llrrrpp) said the EXACT same thing to you as your wife did.
Something annoying--
Curtm, why are you still on the computer? I thought you had stuff to do.
How would you react to llrrrpp, and how would you react to someone that gets to see you at your passive-aggressive worst? Can you train yourself to take a step back? Remember, the people we love the MOST should get to see our best sides. Who cares if llrrrpp gets pissed off? What do I matter? Why should you try to impress me? (other than the fact that I am SO nerdyawesome). The person that matters is your wife. Her opinion of you matters a LOT, and has many consequences for your psychological well-being.
yours,
-llp.s. if you wanna play passive-aggressive, we can still be buddies, but it's going to be a lot more complicated!
poster:llrrrpp
thread:678987
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060621/msgs/679794.html