Posted by Jost on June 9, 2006, at 22:29:46
In reply to people can be so cold..please someone advise?:), posted by alesta on June 6, 2006, at 15:45:06
I'm also wondering if your boyfriend has clearly--although of course not rudely-- let her know that her flirtation isn't welcome?
I'm not one to be jealous--but also my SO never gives me the least reason to be so--- and while I guess people can be jealous for internal reasons, even with someone who's beyond reproach, there could be some way that your bf isn't being clear enough with this woman.
I wonder if what's troubling you is possibly that you feel disrespected by her, and possibly have a tendency to feel disrespected?I say that because I've had that-- and it often mistakenly puts my fragile ego and low self-esteem into a picture where they aren't. A picture in which people are acting in a way because that's how they act. And that this has nothing whatever to do with their respect or lack of it for me. (I mean yeah--if I were Donald Trump, they'd probably be more careful, but outside of that, it's pretty undifferentiated-- as to my worthiness of respect.)
That feeling of finding disrespect in situations can eat away at you. So if it is that, it would help you so much more to work on that-- and realize that she's a trigger, but not really the cause, and to know that this woman's actions, though insensitive, have more to do with how she treats/views people and less (and also unknowably) with how she views you as you--
(Sorry if I'm mistakenly projecting my own psychology into you)
Jost
.
.
poster:Jost
thread:653700
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060511/msgs/655078.html