Posted by Kath on February 12, 2006, at 17:59:20
In reply to Re: I realized something today... » alexandra_k, posted by Judith22 on January 29, 2006, at 8:33:00
Hi Judith - of course you're going to be anxious or nervous of situations that have been stressful for you previously. That's a part of you protecting yourself.
I'm 58 years old & if I had ONE thing that I could say as advice, it would be this:
Be honest. In this case, tell the guy how you feel; tell him you're really nervous to meet his friends 'cuz in the past that's been a bad experience for you. THEN after you've told him, OBSERVE how he reacts. You seem like a pretty thoughtful person, in that you think about things, like to figure things out. If you tell someone how you feel, you take a chance of being hurt. BUT, you also get the chance to see how they behave....do they listen to you? do they really hear what you've said? do they ask you more about how you feel? do they disregard you? do they make fun of you? do they put you down? The way people react can give us an amazing amount of information about what type of person this is! IS this the type of person who respects & cares about me?
It's only been in the past year, really, that I've actually learned this business about being honest & open. It's pretty darned scarey stuff. BUT, it's worth it. It saves so much time & energy & guesswork about what people are really like.Best of luck to you.
PS, my daughter met a wonderful guy on the internet. It can happen. Just be careful, & take good care of yourself.
hugs to you, Kath
poster:Kath
thread:603617
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051204/msgs/609022.html