Posted by ClearSkies on January 7, 2006, at 21:16:56
...we post here, trying to describe our situations and distresses. We cry, we rant and rave. We ask for help, we ask for advice, we ask for release. We come here and find voices with which we resonate and empathize with. We reach out and offer
support
sympathy
advice
friendship
compassion...and at the same time, we remain separate. Someone else's distress does not become our own distress (or should not?). When that happens then it's a disfunction in ourselves, in assuming another's problems as our own, and trying to solve that person's problems.
I'm thinking out loud here. Trying to figure out the dymanics of when Good Babble Goes Wrong. I think it's when we take possession of another's Posted distress and it resonates with us as our very own distress. That when we empathize to the point of feeling ill ourselves; or anxious to the point of having a panic attack; or angry to the point of being overlty uncivil; that we have taken someone else's problems and tried to make them our own, whether we intended to or not. It's when these things happen that the civility rules come into play. We make statements that are assumptions, could be sarcastic, the whole panapoly that are listed in the FAQ. I'd like to interject that the original post has to be held to same the same civiity standards,
If we keep our side of the story clean and limited to that listening, suggesting, supporting, advising stuff, we should be OK. When we go beyond it is when it all goes awry.
This is a little project I'm working on with my therapist on Minding My Own Business. I thought that this weekend's flurry of postings, threads, and blocks and resulting discussions would be a good place to get some thoughts from everyone,
So, just think of your own posting style, Are you here for information, for commisery about Eating Disorders, Substance Abuse, for information on medications, to debrief a therapy session; to Chat in Social; or to talk about Alternative to traditional medical practices; discuss politics; chat about Books and other media; there is a Health board to discussion of non meantal health issues; a newbie board for the new members to get their bearings; and there are a Parents board, and a Student board. Someplace for every one. But rough spots on just a few,
I think we need to pay attention to the stories that others are listening to and the stories we are taking as our own.
Thanks, for your help in doing this. i'll check tomorrow and see how we did. If anyone has any questions please Babblemail me.ClearSkies
poster:ClearSkies
thread:596358
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051204/msgs/596358.html