Posted by Tamar on December 6, 2005, at 15:19:25
In reply to Re: female input, posted by jonquiljo on December 6, 2005, at 13:42:11
> Trust my word (although I'm only in my early 50's), men NEVER lose their sex drive - it just sometimes need a bit of coaxing. Men need to be wanted just like women - perhaps more so. When a man knows he isn't going to get any, for lack of a better term, he doesn't anticipate anything.
I believe you. Especially the part about being wanted. And I think it’s important for women to want men too. For me it’s part of being alive. I need to be able to look at my partner’s body and want to touch him. When I was really depressed and lost my libido it felt very strange. I hated being unable to look at men with desire. It was like being a bit fractured.
But I suppose my question is: how do you know you’re not going to get any? Is it a matter of falling out of the habit because your partner seems to have lost interest? I’ve heard that some women lose their libido around the menopause, and it’s really unfortunate because it can coincide with thoughts that sex is only for younger people. And yet I’ve known couples who were still having sex in their late seventies…
> Its also related to the more you get the more you want syndrome - which applies to men and women alike.
Exactly. Also known as 'use it or lose it'. But even if it’s not happening with your partner I reckon it’s important to keep things going by yourself. In some ways it might be an opportunity to try new techniques, new fantasies, new props… I think it does maintain a sense of being desirable if we can maintain an interest in ourselves…
Just my two cents.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:580676
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051204/msgs/586136.html