Posted by annierose on November 29, 2005, at 13:57:16
In reply to bittersweet *trigger*, posted by ClearSkies on November 28, 2005, at 20:49:47
Boy do I understand that feeling! Maybe our mothers can meet and pretend to be friends and pretend to have a relationship.
I'm sorry. I do know how much it hurts to have a mother totally unconnected mother to a real life with real feelings. My husband just told me that it's more important to my mom to keep up appearances that she is wonderful and happy, than to actually have any sort of direct or meaningful conversation or relationship.
Not to one-up your mom, but my mother didn't even attend her only brother's (only sibling) funeral for similar reasons. Bottom line, she couldn't be bothered.
I think this kind of mother stuff is hard to sort through. We keep thinking if only we were different, nicer, prettier, smarter ... maybe then our mothers would notice us. But CS, it's not us. Our mothers have very limited emotional resources. So hard for us to digest.
I keep thinking she'll change. Now I'm beginning to understand she never will. She'll never be able to love me as I needed her to all those years ago.
I'm sorry you had such a tough Thanksgiving. It's such a bad idea anyway, getting all these dysfunctional families together over a fancy meal!
poster:annierose
thread:583160
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051031/msgs/583361.html