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Re: How can I Be Happy

Posted by AdaGrace on October 31, 2005, at 7:17:40

In reply to He Said, She Said, posted by AdaGrace on October 31, 2005, at 6:52:17

I mean really, how can I be happy with someone who doesn't respect me. I've felt no respect from him for many many years, and as a result of that, my children don't respect me either.

As I was getting ready for our little family outing yesterday, I reached for my tube of face cleaner (purchased a week ago for $30, to be used only once a week, for reducing wrinkles and blemishes) and realized it was gone. I asked my older daughter if she had seen it, and she said, "yeah, I used it because I didn't have anything to wash my face with" I have several face cleaners, many which she can use, only one $30 tube for older skin. I found it in her shower, almost completely empty. This is just another instance in a long 5 year battle with her taking my things, not returning them, and using them up. Shampoo, razor, razor blades, make-up, etc. She can't just come to me and say, Mom, I'm out of such-and-such. She just takes mine.

My husband's answer to this is, "I don't understand how a tube of face cleaner can cost $30, but I'll buy you another one if it will make you happy." In other words, if you will shut up about it.

Now see, instead of him talking to his daughter about respecting other people's property, he wanted to just solve it as quickly as possible. Yet not really solve it.

I said, "I think the fact that this has been going on for 5 years now, and we have had this conversation many many times, and I have instructed her to not used my good makeup before asking me, is much more important than the fact that it cost $30. A girl of 15 shouldn't be using "microderm abrasion" on her skin, and especially not a handful at a time. This tube should have lasted me 4+ months. If she had of asked me if she could use it, I would have told her why she couldn't, but I would have seen to it that she had something else to use.

My solution to the situation is that she is going to call the woman up that I purchased it from, explain the situation, and she is going to buy me another tube. I think the humiliation of having to call this woman and admit what she has done, might just stop her, but I don't know. IT's like a behavior pattern of all my kids and there is no respect.

I said, "I receive no respect from anyone in this car. None."


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poster:AdaGrace thread:573675
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051031/msgs/573687.html