Posted by blondemomints on October 24, 2005, at 20:01:59
Hi everyone,
I have a situation I don't know how to deal with and need advice. I've worked for a company for nearly 8 years, LOVE my job and what I do, so I don't want to leave.
My problem is that I am the assistant to the main office manager and she has been unhappily married a number of years. She made me aware of her situation a couple of months ago. (Wish she hadn't but we have gotten close over the past few years of working together). Well, about 3 months ago she shared a "secret" that she was falling in love with a single man, who is off limits. I won't go into all the details but I have been made aware of it. I told her I didn't agree with what she was doing (talking to him numerous times during busy hours on the phone, leaving for "errands", etc). But I know she's a grown adult and is responsible for her own actions.
Here's my dilema....First of all I wish she hadn't shared her situation with me at all but that's too late. Now that I know what she's doing (and trying to keep it secret from me because she knows I disagree); but yet I know they are still carrying on...I'm not stupid, it's quite obvious.
My work area is right outside her door and I have to hear her giggling on the phone, then closing the door, etc. I feel angry because I'm doing all kinds of work while she's goofing off.
In the meantime, she still has everyone in the company thinking she's the "Queen" and so wonderful! It's nearly eating me alive, knowing what she's doing wrong and getting paid for work she's not doing, I'm doing it but not getting paid her salary!
Plus, since I've voiced my dislike of her actions I notice a change in her attitude towards me, she's very different and distant.
I know I'm not alone, that there are many people in my shoes.
Does anyone have any advice and how to deal with this? (I can't talk to anyone @ work because I can't trust anyone and I don't want to ruin her career....although I would probably be considered the liar and would take the fall...
due to politics).
I've tried to go in and do my job and keep my nose clean but I continue to hear conversations and actions that I do not agree with. How can I get past this? Like I said, I love her as a person, don't agree with what she's doing and don't want to lose my job.
Any advice would be most appreciated!
poster:blondemomints
thread:571525
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051002/msgs/571525.html