Posted by Damos on October 11, 2005, at 18:21:25
In reply to social anxiety and significant others, posted by Angela2 on October 1, 2005, at 15:59:51
Hi Angela,
Sorry for not responding sooner to a number of your posts. Please know that I read them and want to respond to most of them. It's just that they bring back memories of how I was at the same age and I begin to doubt that I can offer you anything of use.
All I can tell you is that I'm better now than I was then (thank heavens). Basically I think I'm just more accepting of myself than I was then. Less willing to make myself feel bad to make others happy (which doesn't work in the long run anyway). More willing to say "Loving and wanting to be with you, doesn't mean I have to love and want to be with your family and friends too." I can also tell you that women seem to really begin to grow into themselves in their 30's, so don't be too/so hard on yourself okay. Just be you and don't sell yourself short. I have no doubt that once you begin to accept and appreciate yourself for all the wonderful things you are, others will see it too.
One of the nicest things that's started happening lately is that a couple of friends invite me to stuff (which would have never happened in the past), but they make my not accepting okay, and in a way that makes me feel cared about.
I pretty much agonised and tormented myself through my teens, 20's and 30's so I really feel for you.
poster:Damos
thread:561665
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051002/msgs/565767.html