Posted by Mal on September 6, 2005, at 21:55:15
In reply to Relationship with Myself .. May Trigger, Sex, posted by Susan47 on August 28, 2005, at 14:48:29
Susan-
I sometimes remember some "boyfriends" from my previous life... There is one- I can remember what he smelled like. It is weird, like- I can't just call up his smell from memory, but sometimes it hits me out of nowhere- I smell him- and I have to look around to make sure he isn't there. THis hasn't happened to me in a LONG time, but it HAS happened.ANyhow, I know he wasn't THE ONE for me- our break up was a smart thing I did, but our attraction was sooo...animal, electric, combustible. From the minute I first saw him, it was magnetic, and it was obvious he was interested in me, too. He looked at me like I was beautiful. He didn't glance away when I caught him looking. I miss that. He made an effort to be introduced to me. Then when we finally got together...niiiice. But it was hard, too (no intended puns, there). Because I was a GOOD GIRL- not a virgin, but not someone who could just have sex on the first date, with very little emotional connection (unless animal magnetism is actually an emotional connection...). For over a year we spent about a weekend a month together, with very few calls between, and I was getting attached but God knows what he was doing while he was away. Foolish of me, in a way- no telling who he was shagging, what drugs he was doing. But we were having as good a time as I had ever had at the time. I never could REALLY have a purely sexual relationship- sex always made me mixed up, made me think about LOVE, which of course isn't the same thing. I had a couple of other fuckbuddies in college, and one I still feel friendly toward- not upset or hurt... But I am just insecure enough to wonder if he ever talked about me, had derogatory remarks or opinions about me, or if he still has warm feelings for me, too. This guy I could call up and just be friends again, I think. But there is still a little rejection in there, because I would have been his girlfriend if he had been interested... Guess I wasn't good looking enough for him.
But in case you are wondering, my husband smells real good, too. ;) Not to mention SKILLS!
Have a great time, whatever you do.
MAL
poster:Mal
thread:547661
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050814/msgs/551677.html