Posted by crazy teresa on September 5, 2005, at 13:39:40
Last Christmas, my mother showed up and had well, we'll just call it another 'episode'. It took place on my front porch, in front of my children, the neighbors, God and everybody. It was pretty hard to miss as she was screaming, cussing and trying to wing the presents from the bottom step up 6 steps to my front door. So sad it's almost comical in retrospect; we weren't even aware she had arrived until the first present hit the door!
It lasted about 10 minutes then she left. I had my husband call my brother and ask him to check on her later (he lives in the same town, I'm 3 hrs. away). A lot of pain can be inflicted in 10 minutes, can't it?
Around Easter I received a letter from her. It was the typical 'I hadn't slept for 3 days' crap, never once apologizing or accepting responsiblity for the way she acted. I did not respond. She called me shortly thereafter to tell me my grandmother was in the hospital. I wasn't friendly, just answered when asked questions, thanked her for calling and hung up.
Now, I'm receiving messages on my machine (caller id is fantastic!) and she's telling me we'll be seeing a lot more of her because the plant she works for is closing down. Gee, great Mom. Sure can't wait to see you.
I'm a big girl and I know I will have to tell her not to come. Honestly, I moved on a long time ago; I no longer need a relationship with her. She refuses to get help. I just would really like for it to not turn into another 'episode' for all our sakes when I tell her to stay away.
My children don't want to see her-- this was their 1st experience seeing grandma in a full blown freak-out. It was heartbreaking to hear them asking, "Mommy, why is grandma so mean to you? Mommy, why was grandma so mad? Mommy, why did grandma do that? Mommy, will she do that to me someday? Mommy, does grandma hate you?"
Do I send a letter, giving her something to carry around and show everybody? Do I tell her on the phone--which unfaillingly turns into a bigger tale each time she tells it? Do I ignore her hoping she'll finally take the hint?
There is no hope for reasoning with her. It's not possible to reason with an unreasonable person. She's bipolar and unmedicated. She can be fine one minute and off the deep end the very next second. I'm tired just thinking about all this.
Anyway, please share your thoughts with me. It's all so very, very sad.
crazy teresa
poster:crazy teresa
thread:550929
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050814/msgs/550929.html