Posted by Susan47 on August 28, 2005, at 13:19:13
In reply to Re: My parents are insane-quite mad, posted by sunny10 on August 26, 2005, at 9:55:55
I think it's majorly important to get to a space of not seeing yourself through your parents' eyes anymore, and not seeing them through yours, either. I guess. That's how it is for me. I just was finally able to disconnect. I saw them as people completely separate from me.. we have physical characteristics that're very similar, BUT I am me and they are themselves. It bugs me that my voice is like my mother's, and I see my mother's body, and my father's, as well, in mine. It bugs me that my father's behaviours all MY life (who knows what he was like before me?) were psychopathic in nature, and I don't think he is a psychopath, but I might never know for sure; I know many of his behaviours and life outcomes point that way; but that doesn't mean I am .. what it means is that I learned behaviours that were inconsistent with my true nature, and I think I got slightly psychotic from that, but I'm on AD's and I sought counselling and I did a heck of a lot of reading and pondering and trying to communicate.. and he did some of that, too.. but he didn't go far enough.
But that doesn't mean I won't. That means I've already stepped WAY beyond where he's been, so far .. and I'm really proud of that. Seeing how my parents are, (my mother's a different story and I might never have hers sorted out).. but seeing how they are and seeing how I understand I'm different, helped me let go of my fear that I was the same, and then my anger at having been their child. Theirs, when I might have had much better parents, better opportunities.. but the truth is that they gave me the tools, too, to be able to see how I am, indeed, different .. and they gave me the greatest thing of all, the best gift ever .. Life.
I sound like the religiously converted.. Hah!
poster:Susan47
thread:546763
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050814/msgs/547626.html